Friday, March 27, 2009

This week

Has been interesting to say the daughter has been here for spring break, having her here is always bittersweet, it makes me so incredibly happy, but at the end of the week I know she goes back to her dad and it breaks a piece of my heart every time. She is a wonderful and super smart girl, I know every mom says that about their, here's a bit of fun we had today..

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Some bloggy Love

Today is my dear friend The Rambler's day at SITS, so please head over to My Rambling Thoughts and say hello...she's awesome!!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Where am I? Who are you? How did you get here?

Sometimes that's what runs through my head in the morning when I look in the mirror....Am I slowly losing my mind (well, I think that's been established)....Some days though the questions follow me around begging me for answers and I tell them that I have none, I am just me, I got this point in my life, by a series of decisions and choices (the same thing?). Every now and then I can hear my grandma's voice, follow the right will I know I'm on the right path....because the right path is sometimes full of potholes? There are always going to be questions and I will almost always be trying to find answers, like this one...what is it about a death sentence that makes someone get a life sentence? Why is it that someone has to be dieing to start living? That one plagued me last night at 3:30 am, no idea where it came from..(welcome to a part of my brain).

So, I keep seeing these posts in bloggyland about Wordless Wednesday or Wordful Wednesday, maybe I'll just call it Wordy Wednesday (for some reason I think I can see TTMVM's brain turning that into Woody, people post a picture to let the pic do the talking, I am not able to do that so I'll just ramble and then post a picture....

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Even Serial Killers Make Friends

Ain't the truth! A really good friend of mine said that to me today when I was complaining about something and it made me laugh so I figured I would share. Not sure if it's more funny or more Enjoy your day!

My education

I am beginning to see why people have an almost negative view of taking college courses online...While I am having quite a bit of success, I am finding that my instructors and fellow students are hard for me to relate too. I am all for everyone having different views and opinions, but I am not ok with using the school as a way to promote your "spiritual writings about how to cure gambling addictions", esepcially when it has nothing to with the course and I am not ok with having an instructor that can't form complete sentences or provide adequate feedback. I am paying a lot for an education where I am basically teaching myself.

I'm frustrated because in this learning environment it's all about communication and when there's a breakdown or failure to communicate properly it makes it hard for me to stay motivated. I know my attitude is really blah right this minute so maybe it's just a bad day.....

Friday, March 20, 2009

New/Old Ink

The outline was done back in November and I finally got started on the coloring process last weekend. Hopefully it will be complete by next weekend! If you missed the post about the significance of this particular tattoo please click here....



Change of heart

I have decided to open my blog up again, she has left me alone for a few days now and I have family that reads this so in order to make it more convenient I am open now.

Besides, if I live in fear than she wins right?! I will still have my comment moderator on, but I don't want to keep everyone out.

Thank you to my bloggyland friends for sending me virtual hugs and for being so supportive, it means alot to me.

Hope everyone has a great weekend :)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Going Private

If you wish to still view my blog, please email me or send me a comment. I will contact my followers and send you an invite.

Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I have a Stalker

Defined by Wikipedia:

Stalking is a controversial pejorative term applied to the behaviour of individuals (and perhaps to bodies of persons) towards others. It relates to a pattern of repeated, unwanted attention, harassment, and contact. In many countries, stalking is classified as a criminal offence.

So we all know that out here in bloggyland it's easy to view everyone's stuff, it's like the domino effect, one follows one and another and another and so on. Well, I have gone to as many lengths as I possibly can to prevent this person from viewing my stuff and SHE still will not stop, so she is now classified as a stalker. Yes that's right, A SHE! and fyi some of my bloggy friends, she's now following you, JananaBee and My Little World, if you want to know who she is please email me and I will tell who so you can block her if you want.

Here's the deal, I met this girl in one of my online courses, she added me as a friend on Facebook and we chatted about school. Then one day our convo turned to our life experiences and things of that nature and I thought she was a pretty cool girl. She lives in another state, doesn't have a lot of friends, blah blah, we exchanged phone numbers, started texting and talking on the phone. I thought I had found a friend to connect with and then something happened. She became obsessive, if I didn't call her back or text her back right away she would send like 15 texts or call my phone 4-5 times, so I finally asked her to please stop doing that, she said she would. She didn't. So last week I finally told her to leave me alone, I didn't want to talk to her anymore. Again she apologized and said she wouldn't contact me. AND YET AGAIN she continued to call, text, email, follow and comment on my blogs, tried to talk to me on facebook, any time I gave any kind of attention to her it just made her do it more, so last night I had enough and deleted her and blocked her. Well, as you can see my blog is public and if you look at my FEEDJIT tracker she can still access me, by the way she's from MONMOUTH MAINE. So, in an effort to thwart her I am posting this blog to tell her if she doesn't stop I will take legal action and I will report her and I will tell the school about her behavior.

I have been stalked before, about 8 years ago when I lived in Las Vegas. This man, who still to this day haunts my brain, and now especially, made my life hell. He found out where I worked, he found out where my bf at the time worked, pretended to be a florist to find out my address and sent me flowers to my HOME, he showed up at my work one day after I switched jobs and I had him fired and you know what stinks, the cops in vegas wouldn't do anything about it.

I have enough anxiety issues and don't need the constant worry anymore if this chic is going to be following me around in cyberspace for the rest of my life. It stinks, she's in one of my classes this semester and I hate it! In all reality I'm also frightened. But I'm more pissed than anything. You would think that if you ask someone to leave you alone, they should comply. Most of all though I feel like an idiot for even thinking that I could be her friend. There were so many red flags, I just didn't listen to myself and then when I did follow my gut, it's now turned ugly.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Obsess Much? Me? Noooo

I lie, I'm obsessed with RP, I admit it (sorry Mark). I bought the Twilight Soundtrack last weekend and have been listening to it over and over and there's a song by Rob Pattinson called "Never Think", so I decided this morning I would search youtube for a video. Well I found a ton of RP videos of him singing and well, it has done nothing but fuel the for fun and for fellow obsessed RP is what I found..This one was done by fan, but the music is RP singing..

Friday, March 13, 2009

Friday Favorites **My first time**

Sounded bad right? your minds back in bloggyland! I am joining in Jananabee's Friday Favorites Carnival! I am a little slow in getting started, she has been doing this for a few weeks now, so go on over and see her favorites and visit the others that are participating, she's set up Mr. Linky so everyone can link up!

Now for my favorites that got me through the week....

(No particular order)

1. The SITS Spring Fling- That was seriously a ton of fun to do and I made some new bloggy land friends in the process which is really what SITS and BITS is all about. I tried to win some contests, but to no only person I ever win from is Kalei!

2. Arizona weather- It really has been quite nice and yesterday's trip to the park with Nate was much needed. For more about that see the post below :).

3. Grey's Anatomy- for providing me drama outside the real world, oh and The Real World- Brooklyn, yes, I admit it, I watch it so what! It's so fun to watch the 20-somethings living in this giant warehouse with funky furniture and making money for being pretty and "real". There's a Mormon guy on their this season who is out to prove to the world that being LDS is fun! He's good at it! :)

4. Coffee- This will always be on my list of favorites because I can't function without it.

5. All the people that stop by and leave me comments, comments are my favorite thing because it means people really like me..right? Hehehe...

6. Also my boy and his new skill..see video :)

I'm sure I will come up with a better list next Friday. Right now I am in a fog and need to eat dinner! Have a great weekend everyone!! :)

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Fun at the park!

Today was a beautiful day (please don't hate me all you people that live where it's cold...I will gladly change places with you at any time!) so I took Nate to a park near our house. He had soooooooo much fun and so did I, I even went down the slide with him! (and didn't get stuck..which I was so afraid would I think we will make this a daily trip or maybe an every other day trip! Here's my boy having some fun..he wouldn't really look at the camera he was so

My 2 Cents about American Idol

So, I am a fan of American Idol, I don't usually post about the shows I watch, however sometimes I just feel the need to give my opinion. This season there are some very talented boys and girls and I already have my favorites. There is a twist this season though, the judges now have the ability to save someone from being eliminated from the competition. They can only save one person, one time and thats it. They implemented this new rule because of when Chris Daughtry and some others got booted off that "should have or could have" won the competition. I don't know about any of you, but I for one think that Daughtry is having a better career than if he would have won Idol?! Anyway, 2 people got kicked off last night and I think it will be interesting to see if the judges decide to save anyone and who it will be....So, for this season I will give my 2 cents about the contestants. Here are my favorites so far.... courtesy of You Tube..

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Winner is.....

Here is a copy and paste from :) Congrats to Roni from Stacy Family In Dallas! Head over to her blog and congratulate her! Thanks to everyone who stopped by yesterday! And thanks especially to my new followers! Have a happy Wednesday!!

True Random Number Service
List Randomizer
There were 45 items in your list. Here they are in random order:
dipaola momma
queenie jeenie
living on the spit
simply anonymom
tamara b
news around the blogs
janna b
bredna jean
janna b
reluctant housewife
Timestamp: 2009-03-11 16:37:39 UTC

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

SITS Spring Fling Day!!

**Rules..Leave a comment you get one entry, become a follower, get 2 entries!**
**Contest ends tonight at 11:59 pm AZ (CST) time**

Hey Ya'll Head on over to SITS and participate in the Spring Fling! There are sooooooo many contests and prizes your eyes will go buggy!!

Now for my Give-A-Way.....

Ok so I am a little late getting this post up, but for my give-a-way today leave me a comment and you'll be entered to win a dozen HOME-MADE chocolate chip cookies (or any cookie of your choosing), I am a fabulous baker so don't worry..they'll be good!! Also I am giving away 2 purses that have been just sitting around in my closet and should go to a good home! **Pics are posted** The larger black purse is made by Kenneth Cole -Reaction** I'll post Pics in a bit, just wanted to get this out here for all the SITS participants!! Happy Spring Fling Hopping!!

So I decided to give 2 purses away! :)

Monday, March 9, 2009


This week is the end of my first semester back in college....Has 9 weeks really gone by so fast?! I have 2 projects due by Sunday, a Power Point presentation and a 1000-1250 word Survival Guide Essay! Needless to say I will be a bit busy! However I will still participate in the SITS Spring Fling tomorrow! I'll be bloggyland hoppity hoppin, should be a great time! Oh and I will be doing a giving away so check back in the AM. (No, mark I am not giving money away..I am giving away cookies and one of my purses that I never ever use).

Hope everyone has a happy Monday!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

What Have I been doing all weekend?

Ok so maybe not...but a girl can dream can't she.......................

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

My 2 Cents

I watched The Bachelor all season long, I watched him send some great girls packing and waited impatiently for the return of Deanna...only to have this season be the worst Bachelor season in the history of the show! Suuuuurrreeee Jason wasn't put up to this, right?! That would be a BIG FAT NO, I firmly believe that he was so put up to this and that ABC did it for ratings because of how lame the show is becoming. How many times you do a show about this girl or this boy "fallin in love" on TV with all these fantasy dates and high drama only to have what maybe 2 relationships actually work out of all the seasons! So what do they do they concoct this scheme with Mr. Ahole Mesnick and say you have to get engaged to Melissa if you want Molly. Oh and we're going to bring Deanna back at the end to throw some BS at you and clip it altogether to trick the unsuspecting viewers. I think it's really sad that ABC did what they did and even worse because Melissa looked like she really got hurt, but who knows at this point, I think everyone knew ahead of time. Molly says they're real people, not just actors I think that's complete BS too. Don't you know you get paid when you go on a "reality" show..hmmm sounds to me like you're acting then, the better you are the more likely you are to be kept around, The more money you make! I'm also really sick of ABC taking the "broken hearted" girl or guy and making them the NEXT bachelor/bachelorette, it's stupid. In my opinion everyone should boycott ABC an d not watch The Bachelorette in May. Make their ratings go down the tubes. Ok, I'm done with my rant....all I have left to say is I'm pissed that I wasted so much time watching the dumb show!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

A Sunny Saturday

It's 85 degrees today. It's a beautiful day outside. I did some shopping, found my boy some shoes and of course as I was leaving a pair just suddenly jumped out and started calling my name (yes, in my world shoes talk to me) I bought them...very cute wedge flip flops at Kohl's. I am in a better mood today than I was for my last post :). I am currently in the process of figuring out Twitter and I am also co-authoring with Young Momma from Perfect Pen over at Anxiety Ridden Mania. We need some friends so head on over and check us out! Our blog is mainly a support blog and a kind of vent blog, we both have "issues" so if you'd like to subscribe to us that would be great :).

I am also planning on getting a bloggy face lift, I have fallen in love with April @, she does some awesome work so please go check her out, some of her work can be seen on her blog, or The Rambler, or The Adams Family. And once I finally determine a budget hopefully MINE!

I will be doing another give-a-way for the SITS Spring Fling so make sure you come back next saturday to enter to win some of my fabulous chocolate chip cookies anda purse (slightly used, but in excellent condition). **If you don't happen to like chocolate chip cookies I am willing to make your favorite, I am a fabulous baker if I do say so myself!** In honor of give-a-ways, make sure you go over and see Jananabee, and The Scattered Mind of a tattooed MInivan Mom, they are all doing some great give-a-ways!! :)

Hope you are all having a Sunny Saturday!!

***Some random pics***
Tankers smile :)

He's ready for his bike!

I just love this pic...

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Scarey Times

I'm so mad right now I could just spit! The economy is so horrible in my hometown right now that almost everyone I know, family and friends, have been hurt by it. One of my close friends was laid off today from his job, after being sick for 2 weeks and promised by his BOSS that he wouldn't get the boot, he got the boot today! ANother of my close friends, her husband got the boot too a while back and another close friend has had to take a 12% pay cut. I know that our new Pres is doing all kinds of new stuff and passing tax cuts and giving money to this and that, but so far, it's not doing one bit of good to anyone I know. We have had our own hurt because of this crap, Mark is not allowed over time, which is a big loss, we're doing ok without it so I won't complain. I just wish it would be better already, I just wish there was a brighter light at the end of the tunnel for the people I care about that are getting hit the hardest.

All I can do is pray and thank the man upstairs that we're alright. My thoughts and prayers are with those that are not so has to get better, it just has to!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Twilight anyone?

If you just can't wait til March 21, 2009, like I couldn't, feel free to watch the movie right here! Great quality I wouldn't post garbage, I mean c'mon, this is Edward we're talking about!! I mean Twilight..hehehe...Enjoy :)

***By the way, click on the menu bar for Full Screen, otherwise you'll miss half the movie since it won't all fit onto my blog..LOL..***

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Naked House!

What is it about toddlers that makes them want to run around naked ALL the time? I feel like my boy should be living at a nudist colony! I'm contsantly chasing him around trying to put clothes back on him, ok maybe not constantly, but still! It must be so nice to run around uninhibited, me- I am afraid to walk in front of the mirror without clothes or at least a towel on, this one time I was walking by a window and caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye and thought someone was following me..turned out it was my own @ss! I won't even look at my shadow, I'm afraid of it! Anyway, enough about me. ..... This is about my naked boy and all his wonderful poses that he just has to do when he's in the for your amusement on this super HOT Fat Tuesday....

Saturday, February 21, 2009

My Heart Hurts

I just received this pic yesterday

This is a picture of my mom's head stone. My Uncle (her brother) had it made and it will be placed next to my grandmas in Utah. I think sometimes I must be in denial, I go along everyday and there's a part of my head that knows she's gone, but it's like I just push it away and now to see this, it makes it really real, over and over again I'm reminded she's gone and I'm all alone. I can't breathe. I can't see. I miss her. I'm so tired of being strong, I'm so tired of holding it all together. I'm tired of being angry. I'm just tired. I know that time is supposed to lessen the pain and I'm sure in a hundred years or so I'll feel better or a little less tired I hope.

Janana Bee's 200th Post GIve-A-Way!!

My 200th Post & Giveaway Go show her some love and you'll be enterted to win some fabu prizes!!

And the WINNERS are......

Oh you mean I didn't tell you there would be more than one? Well there is....and they are.....
DRUM ROLL PLEASE (and Dj Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince just rolled through my head...)...

First Place is...............The Young Momma @ Perfect Pen!

Second Place is...........Sandy @ The Adams Family!

Third Place is..............The Tattooed Minivan Mom @ Scattered Mind of a Tattooed Minivan Mom!

If you're wondering to yourself why there are more than one well it's because I said so, it's my contest I can do what I want and if I think everyone, I mean 3, should win then that's t hat! Ok, how did I get these 3 lovely ladies, well I went to Random.Org and I typed in the list of entries and hit randomize, and these 3 were the top!

Thanks to everyone for entering and for showing me some love for my first 100 posts! I kinda like this whole giving thing, maybe I'll start doing just random give-a-ways for no reason...hmm stay tuned for more on that! :) Oh yea did you know you can watch Twilight on your PC for free?? I learned this tid bit of info last night and am now addicted to!

For all of you who entered please email me your address so I can snail mail you something just for stopping by and for the winners please tell me your favorite Bath and Bodyworks Scents and Young Momma I need to know your favorite Yankee Candle Scent and where you'd like your $25 GIftCard from! Thanks again everyone! Now go stop by all the other blogs on my blogroll, there are some super dooper give-a-ways going on, apparently a bunch of milestones are happening this week/weekend!!

Email info to:

Friday, February 20, 2009

Last Day to Enter!

Just a quick reminder: Today is the last day to enter my 100th Post Give-A-Way!! Scroll down 2 posts and stop by to leave a comment or 5 to be entered! Have a happy Friday and Good Luck!!! By the way if you linky loved me for the give-a-way don't forget to let me know so you getyour extra entries! I'll announce the winner tomorrow!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Do all puppies poop this much? And eat ROCKS?

Our puppy, Tankers, has decided he'd rather poop everywhere- except outside! Every night/morning Mark wakes up to poop in the kennel where he sleeps (not Mark, the puppy..what kind of wife do you think I am! Gosh!) and whats ironic is that he won't poop in the front he poops in the back and most of the time the poop has rocks in it...GROSS! Ok so I'm sure you guys wanted to know all about this right? No? Too bad! I have to vent because it's driving me crazy...oh he also poops under the table and behind chairs! I try to get him outside as much as possible and sometimes it works, but it's mostly night time and early morning and now PUDGE is in heat! Ahhhhhhhh!!! (God, grant me the strength) He really is sooooo cute though...despite all the poop...

They share I swear!

Don't forget to enter the give-a-way! :) :) :) :)

***I just found this post through SITS and it made me laugh so hard that I had to share it with you! Check it out if you need a laugh too..***

Monday, February 16, 2009

Just a day

Don't forget to comment for the give-a-way! See the details from my 100th Post-post! Contest ends Friday the 20th at midnight!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

100th Post and a GIVE-A-WAY!!

It's here!! It's really here!! I finally made it to 100! Woo Hoo! I accomplished what I thought for sure would take me forever, in a little over a year! My goal for 2010 is to post everyday and hit 365! I would have made that my goal for 2009, but we're already half way through February so I'm a little late. ***Ok, so a little side note about my post yesterday, I know 99.44% is still an A, what I'm peeved about is the fact that its .56% away from the 100, I mean seriously, a teeny tiny percentage away, so it just kills me that my professor was that anal about it! Oh well, I'm done, an A is an A no matter***

Now for my 100th Post are the rules, leave me a comment get an entry, link back to me in a post earn 3 entries, oh and for every comment you leave you get an comment away! Maybe I should do a limit to make it fair?...ok, no more than 5 comments. Now.....what do you win if you get chosen? LOTS OF seriously you'll win a $25 gift card and there will be other little things too, some of my favorite stuff, like Yankee Candles and Bath and Body Works stuff :).**Contest will end Friday at Midnight** So, thanks again for reading me and following. Sometimes the comments you guys leave really pull me through my day! To show some love on this Valentine's Day I would like to take a moment and list some of my most loyal readers and commenters and hope that whoever decides to stop by will take a moment to stop by these wonderful blogs too! So without further ado.......***These are in no particular order***
1. Janana Bee!
2. The tattooed Minivan Momma!
3. The Ramlber!
4. Bloggedy Blog, Blog!
5. The Adams Family!
6. Hippy Chic!
7. My Thoughts!
8. PsychoHairapy! and Running With Scissors!
9. The Perfect Pen!
10.Christina's Creative Expressions!
11. Decisionally Challenged!
12. Clever Girl Goes Blog!
13. BulletProof!
14. Keeper of the skies wife!
15. Pooba!

Ok, I could keep going, but my little man is crying so I need to go do mom duty! Hope everyone has a LOVE filled day!!


Friday, February 13, 2009

Lucky Day

For whatever reason I have always found some luck on Friday the 13th's, this one has been ummm....well not unlucky, just a little on the blah side. I mean I suppose you could say it has been a good day, I found some super cute glow in the dark pj's for Nate at the carter's Store for 4 bucks and I found Mark's Valentine's Day present was reasonably priced too, so I mean I'm getting some "luck" with shopping deals.

I guess I'm just peeved because I went and bragged to my therapist about how I'm getting straight A's in my classes and then I find out today that I was docked 2 points because apparently I forgot to leave one stinkin comment on something and now my "perfect" grade is slightly marred and I know it shouldn't matter because in terms of a grade it's still an A it's just not a 100%, it's a 99.44%! I was never a perfectionist in school before now, it's like I'm ocd about it now, I have to have a perfect grade or I feel like I'm stupid or something?! WTF is wrong with me? BLAH!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent! I feel better now. Oh yea, tomorrow is Valentine's Day in case you didn't know, so go out and get something for someone you like or love and let them know you care. I am a horrible wife I told Mark not to get me anything, but then I changed my mind...poor guy I must confuse him so much! ANyway, this is my 99th post, which means the next one is the BIG 100!! So, I will do a give-a-way as promised :). Hope everyone enjoys their weekend and stay tuned til tomorrow when I reveal what I'm giving away.....mwaaaaahhhaaaahhhaaahaaa(insert devilish sounding laugh)....and I'm lame!

Happy Lucky Friday the 13th!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Goals? You mean I have to have goals?

I have a school assignment this week that is weighing heavy on my mind. I have to come up with 2 long-term career or life goals and then expand that to a bunch of mini goals to accomplish the 2 long term ones. Confused yet? I guess it's just me..I remember writing goals down when I was in High School and I accomplished a few, but I have no idea what goals I want to achieve aside from, ya know, world peace and my kids going to college and becoming well rounded awesome adults!

I will figure it out eventually, I mean I know what I want, it's just having to narrow it down to 2, and the expanding part that'll be tricky. Am I repeating myself? I need some sleep. Ha! Goal #1- GET MORE SLEEP! Oh wait that requires my 2 year old to get more sleep.....

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Home again

This is Tank....8 weeks old and 14..probably 15 pounds now :)

Going to Las Vegas is always a bit hard for me, this trip was no exception. Mark kind of forced me to go, I'm glad he did. I needed to see my family and spend time with them. I stayed at my Aunt's house and even though it was only for a short time I am so grateful to her for opening her home to me. I made it into town on Friday and that afternoon went to the Hilton where I used to work and saw some of my friends, that evening I went to dinner with my aunt and cousins, we ate at my other cousin's Bar-Restaurant called The Bar :). The food was phenomenal! Seriously though I am so proud of my family, my aunt is a teacher, my uncle steve owns Las Vegas Rock, my aunt and her husband own Brady Landscaping, James and Joe co-own The Bar, Brit is a stay at home mom/pilates GURU! Everyone has their own accomplishments and talents and I just feel so in awe of them, sometimes it's fun to take a step back and go wow, that's the family I belong too!

Saturday was an interesting day for me, I woke up early and went to see my step dad to pick up some of my mom's stuff....he ended up giving me her ashes..ALL of them and so now my mom is sitting on my shelf and it's weird and sad and I miss her....I talk to the box, I know where to take her, but there's a part of me that almost doesn't want too, this is the longest I have spent with her since I was 12...

After picking up her things and her, I met my cousin Brit for a movie, we saw Bride Wars and laughed and cried at all the same parts and had a great time! She always brightens me up. I went to the mall after for some shoes because while I was there it decided to storm REALLY bad and my shoes that I was wearing got ruined. I was in a funk though for the rest of the day, I ended up having to donate a lot of the stuff that I picked up because it wouldn't all fit in my truck and that was extremely hard, even though it was just "stuff".

Sunday I picked up Tank and drove home, only it was somewhat of an adventure and not in a fun way! See the storm that happened in Vegas, followed me home....almost the whole way, at one point I was driving down this curvy road and COULD NOT SEE anything in front of me until I was like 5 feet behind it! I don't recommend that. Sunday night was fun, Tank cried when we tried to get him to sleep, but he did really well meeting Pudge or maybe I should say Pudge did really well when she met him :0).

They're great friends!

Tank likes Pudge's set up much better than his

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Hey Baby Let's Go To Vegas! it's just me goin to Vegas, but I am going to pick up a baby!!! A boy to be exact.....and he's soooooooooo cute! Yes, that's right folks, the Bush's are adding to our brood! Why? Well, because we're insane! No, ok, so I'm the only insane one, but we love all things baby so we figured let's add one more....and here he is...our new pride and joy....

Ours is the one in the middle

He's the biggest in the litter and as of right now is 12-13 pounds and almost 8 weeks old, he's an English Mastiff and will be Pudge's maybe not, but ya never know!

So anywho, we haven't come up with a name for him yet, we've been tossing around names like Dozer (as in Bull, Bruiser, Bruno etc... All suggestions are welcome! I'll be picking him up on Saturday so we have a few days before a name has to be chosen :)

Friday, January 30, 2009

My Blogoversary

I have been so stinkin busy with school I missed my 1 year Blogoversary! Only by 2 7 or 8 days, but still! I had no idea when I started this blog last year how much it would evolve into what it is today. I have to give it to my BFF Marylin, she's the one that convinced me to start it up!

I'm so grateful to my 17 readers, I write for you guys and my family and it's such a warm and fuzzy feeling when you leave me comments, makes me feel like I'm good at something! In honor of my 1st Year I leave you with a list of my favorite that conceited of you enjoy and my 100th post is only 5 posts away so stay tuned for a give-a-way!!

These are in no particular order...:

1. My very first post

2. The Many hats of Nate

3. ABC Tag

4. A poem for my mom

5. New York Yankees

Ok, that's all for now for my favorites. Nate is running amuck and wants to go outside, so before I lose my mind even more...time to play!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Three Little Words

I had the most amazing experience on Monday, I was sitting at the computer doing homework (because that's what my life consists of these days) and I had Sesame Street on for Nate, well I was so engrossed in the screen that I had tuned everything out, when all of a sudden I feel his little hand touch my arm so gently and he peaks around at me with this very shy smile and says.."I love you!" and then giggles and hugs me! Now for mom's all around the world when your little one can finally grasp what it means to love and actually express it verbally, it's hands down one of the best days of my life. So, naturally after that I scopped him up and started giving him kisses and saying I love YOU I LOVE YOU over and over, so much so, that he will now shout it whenever he feels like saying it to me. It felt like all of my life has been summed up in his three little words to me, he and my daughter are the reason I'm here.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I Heart my Ink

So about 11 years ago I got my first tattoo, it was a dolphin on my left shoulder. It cost me $60 bucks and I did it on a spur of the moment, actually one of my closest friends and I decided as we were driving down Charleston to stop at a tattoo shop and just look, next thing I know she's getting her boyfriends name tattooed on her lower back and I'm staring at a really cute dolphin that I just had to have...does it matter that we were only 19 at the time? **by the way she broke up with her boyfriend 2 days later and his name is now a giant tribal band on her lower back**

My second tattoo came only 4 months later and am proud to say still looks good, however I did walk around with it as an outline for about 3 years before it was finally colored. The story on that goes something like this....I heart this baby dragon sleeping...I have to have it tattooed on me!! So, my ex-hubs made friends with a tattoo artist who was just opening a shop, they struck up some deal and an artist named BOOM gave me my dragon on my right shoulder, I sat like a champ for 4 hours with only one break! 2 months later I find out I'm preggers, so much for color! Flash forward 3 years, I am at a good friend of mine's concert, they are giving away a $100 gift certificate to the tattoo shop where I got my dragon, I win! 2 weeks later my dragon has color :).

The red dragon is the one that is 11 years old :)
The big purple dragon is covering my dolphin :)

My back has now undergone a complete transformation! My dolphin is gone, covered by another dragon and I now have a whole fantasy land that starts at the top and goes all the way down to the top of my tail bone. Most of the inspiration for what you see is based on Amy Brown, she's a well known artist that draws and paints faeries and dragons and other awesome creatures. My tattoo artist that designed the whole piece with me is Terry Oakes, she used to work at State of The Art Tattoo here in Tucson, but is now on her own. She and I have become pretty close through this whole process and I hope that she and I will remain close now that it's complete. The total time in hours that I sat for this piece was 80-90 over the course of a year. I have a total of 7 tattoos, I count my back piece as one because it's all connected, if I was to count each piece seperately it would add up to about 22 tattoos

Here is my ink that I am so proud of...

**sorry about the's hard to take pics of my back without**

Monday, January 19, 2009

Janana Bee: I know I'm a Mom because....

Janana Bee: I know I'm a Mom because....

Hey all you MOM'S go read this, she is so right on!! Way to go Janana Bee!!

Is it really Monday?

Last week flew by in such a hurry and now here it is MONDAY again, I feel like yesterday was Monday..haha..
I started school last week so I was extremely busy trying to work it in to my schedule and figure out what the heck I was that the first week is over with I think I have a grasp of what I'm doing? Maybe? I know one thing for sure...I LOVE IT! My brain feels useful again! Sometimes being a mom turns me into a machine, I have but a few phrases- No! Don't! Stop! Leave Pudge ALONE, she's not a horse! Bath Time! EAT please! Stop hitting! TIME OUT NOW! oh and I LOVE YOU :)...

Needless to say it's refreshing learning new things and being able to flex my brain muscles! Turns out it's still in there and becoming stronger by the day!

I'm really glad so many of you enjoyed Mark's guest post. It's been fun reading about all of you too, seeing you through your other half's eyes.

I would like to say that I AM REALLY TIRED OF BEING SICK! For 2.5 weeks now I have been sick, coughing, sneezing, stuffed up nose, sore throat and Nate has been sick for just as long, with all the same crap, he's on antibiotics, but the cough he has is horrible, it breaks my heart when his little body just rocks with it and his cheeks puff out from trying to hold it in, and now Mark has it! We will ever escape the house of sick?? I hope seriously that none of you have to go through this's really blah! Ok, that's my rant for the day.

Off I go to get caught up on my reading...I'll try to comment as much as I can and stay up to date with all of you! Enjoy your week!!

Oh and in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.Day....I leave you with this..

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Who knew?

I am just as surprised as all of you by Mark's post, you live with someone for 5 years, you go along thinking you know almost everything about them and then they blog one day and all this stuff comes out that I never knew he felt. What an interesting experience this has been. Eye opening really :). Who knew? Maybe I can get hime to post more often..hehe..although i don't want to create a monster, I'm bad enough..haha..

Thanks for your sweet words Mark. Love you.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

***Mark's Guest Post****

Well I am not sure what to talk about??? I would tell all of you how wonderful I am but for those who know me would already know this and not need to hear it from me. I guess I can give some history of my past.

This is me. yes it is a big machine I am not 2 feet tall standing next to a car tire. I have worked hard to get to where I am at in life, with a few if not many off course ventures.

I was born and raised by some of the best parents on the planet. Mark and Brenda. They taught me right from wrong and at times turned there heads at some of my wrongs. They believed in all I did and participated in all they could for me. I can't remember a time that they missed a ball game I played in matter the miles it took to see it

I grew up in Grand Rapids MI. went to college in Big Rapids MI and this is where the fun started. Alcohol was introduced to me.....yes we became good friends.

I have held various jobs from large corporations to "mom n pop" companies. I was mostly in management positions.

I left Michigan in 2001, headed to Las Vegas, NV , then to Portland OR, Salem OR, Lakeland FL, Tampa FL, then decided enough is enough and left the corporate life and moved back to Las Vegas NV.

During all these moves and transitions I was in a self destruct mode, back in 2001 I lost a family member very close to me, He was like a brother. I felt bad because months prior to his death I left Michigan, after I left He informed me that he felt a little hurt since I left in a hurry and did not stop by to say goodbye, ans sadly I never got to see him to say goodbye. and do to this feeling I had from this error on my part I became better friends with alcohol did not care how much I drank, when I drank and rode my motorcycle everywhere i could sober or not .

I did not find much or trust much of anyone, until I returned to Las Vegas, and Worked as head of security at a good friends bar. this was a family away from my family. Yes I know people become friends with other co-workers and co-workers are like "family". which I call BS to. I have been in the co-worker "family" and it is nothing compared to this close fellowship of friends from Tommy Rocker and all the employees/co-workers. From the owner Tommy to bartenders, wait staff, cooks, management, and even custodial employees There was always the sense of someone was there truly looking out for you and your best interest. This may be hard for some to grasp but you would had to have worked in this environment to understand truly. it wasn't boyfriend girlfriend, guy girl, boss employee atmosphere it was brother, sister, long term friends.

If not for this family I would have not met my wife Mesa. We met at the bar,many of the bar employees were going to a midnight hockey game and Mesa lived with one of the employees and was invited to come along to the game., From there we were together since (luckily after that first kiss), I still was on my self destruct pattern and drinking alot having to call Mesa all hours of the night to drive me home and she put up with alot of my SH@! and for that I am thankful and am truly grateful for her to see through the stupid in me.

I recall one of the first times we hung out, we went to Walmart.......yes I know you all think that is sooooo romantic. but anyways we were at the store and I bought her a stuffed animal of Scooby Doo wearing pajamas, this way if I was not sleeping next to her I could trust Scooby to look out after her, I also bought her a bag of Lifesavers candys, so that way she would think of me when she had one. but the more I think about the bag of candy I think of it more that just a bag of candy , I really think I was handing her a request and lucky me she accepted the request.

After a couple of years we were married and a year later as most of you know came Nathen. He has just turned 2 and I am so proud to be his father, and crazy to admit it i find myself doing some of them annoying things my parents did and said when I was little.

It has been 2-3 years since I had a drink or even a drop of alcohol. Which i will go back to the bag of candy and the request. Mesa thank you for being a lifesaver. with out your commitment who knows where I would be or if I would still even be.

And for that Mesa you truly are my Lifesaver.

** Message from Mesa: Thank you The Scattered Mind of a Tattooed Minivan Mom for hosting the Guest Spot Blog party today! This has been a blast and I hope we get to do it again! :)** For more Blogs with guests please head over to hers!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Clever Girl Goes Blog: Under the sea.

Clever Girl Goes Blog: Under the sea.

For all you Twilight Fans check out this post I promise you'll laugh outloud!!

Life Lessons

Thank you so much to those of you that left such heartfelt comments about my last post. Saying Thank You just isn't enough, but it's all I've got. I have made some incredible friends out here in Bloggyland and I feel so blessed to have you all in my life. You taught me a wonderful lesson- you taught me that I don't have to be afraid to share who I am and where I have come from. When I posted about my family, I came about this close to deleting it, purely out of fear of being rejected or misunderstood, I'm really glad I didn't chicken out :).

I was reading the Sunday paper today and I always browse through Parade, in doing so today I came across a really wonderful article that I would like to share with you. It's by The Dog Whisperer Cesar Millan.

What Your Pet Can Teach You

Live in the moment.

Nurture a balanced life.

Trust your instincts.

Be direct and consistent in your communication.

Learn to listen.

Don’t hold grudges.

Live with purpose.

Celebrate every day.

When I finished reading this I thought about Nathen and how easily all of these lessons can be applied to what our children teach us too, not just pets. When I am having a tough moment my son can usually tell and will walk up to me, touch my face, look at me with his big brown eyes and say "whats wrong?" and then he'll get this giant smile and giggle for absolutely no reason other than to make me smile in return, which I do-even if I don't want to. I can't seem to stay in a bad mood with him in my life and Thank GOD for that. So, I hope that I helped at least one of you dear friends see the importance of all these lessons and that we can all try to learn them in the best way possible, by doing them :). Have a Happy Sunday!!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Sometimes you just have to let it out

"If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?"- This question was posted over at My Rambling Thoughts by The Rambler for her Think About It Thursdays post and it struck a cord with me.

For a few years now my own mortality has been on my mind, its inevitable because the older we get the more people we know and love seem to depart, so I often ask myself this very question. If I were to go would my children know just how much I really love them, have I done enough to show how much I appreciate all the hardwork Mark does on a daily basis and how grateful I am to him for allowing me the opportunity to stay home with our son? I am not so good at being as grateful as I should be and I know that as of lately I seem to be building a wall to keep out the bad, but in keeping out the bad I'm also keeping out the good.

Sometimes my survival instinct takes control and I shut myself off, but I mean seriously after all the stuff that has gone on, sometimes its just easier to try to be numb. I still feel the emotions I just try not to let them out, which is bad bad bad. So in an effort to cleanse my soul and open up again let me get heavy for a moment.

Here goes...I was raised by my grandmother, she was a hard woman, not affectionate unless you were an infant, rarely ever gave praise and she and I fought about everything until the day I moved out. She did what she could to provide a stable home for me and I regret the way I treated her. She passed very quickly in April of 2007, and I didn't get to say goodbye while she was still concious, if I could have I would have told her that she was more of a mom to me than my own and I love her with all of my heart and I am so honored to have been her granddaughter, she taught me more than I ever thought was possible and without her I would not be who I am.

My father was not around growing up, he was a drug addict and alcoholic and the most abusive man I have ever known, I watched him do some horrific things to my mom and even though I witnessed these things from the ages of 1 to 5 I still have a very clear memory of it all. He killed himself when I was 17, his kidneys were failing along with his liver and he decided on Christmas eve to pop as many pain killers as possible and drink one last beer, that was it. If I could have talked to him I would have told him that even though he made mistakes and even though he caused me and many others pain, he was still my father and I will always love him and wish that I could have known him and that underneath everything he was trying to escape he still had a good heart.

My mom, well, more like a sister or best friend, she and I had a unique relationship. I was the mom and she was the daughter for almost my whole life. She and I had somewhat of a falling out around March/April in 2008, you see she had an unreal amount of guilt when my grandma died, she was tormented by all that she had done to my grandma. In March of last year my mom went missing for 2 weeks, I thought she was dead, I almost wished that she was at the time because it was better than what she had really been doing. My mother was also a drug addict. She decided to go and live with someone crazy woman and her family, quit her job and just disappear to get high. I was beyond crushed when she finally called me acting like nothing was wrong. I told her I wanted nothing to do with her, that she would never see me or her grandkids ever again, that she was done breaking my heart. I refused to speak to her for months every time she called I let my phone go to voicemail, some messages she left were as if nothing at all were wrong (she was high), other messages she would plead with me to please call. Finally my step father called and said she was in really bad shape, so I finally talked to her. A week later she ended up in the hospital. She never would tell me exactly what was wrong with her, she was very vague so I just assumed it was drug withdrawls and in the end I was right. My mother committed suicide on August 29th, 2008, so-called accidental overdose, there was a note though, her last thoughts and a good-bye saying she would be able to take care of me better from heaven. I saw her 2 weeks to the day before she died at my cousins wedding. She was in bad shape and I had a feeling that the end was near, but I let my anger get the best of me and I shut her out and didn't stay but maybe 15 minutes with her. I think she knew that I loved her, I just wish I could have been stronger for her. I know that nothing I could say or do would have stopped her, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't have liked the chance to try. I am constantly being told not to beat myself up and I don't I just have big wishes that I know will never come true. So, to my mom I would have said if given the chance- I love you, I know you did the best you could and that you were sick and because of your sickness you weren't as available to me and I'm ok, I'm healing and will continue to heal and most of all I forgive you.

If I died tonight I want all of my family and friends to know I love them and I wish sometimes I could be better at expressing it.

I know my story was heavy, but sometimes I just have to let it out...

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Think Thin Thursdays! An Honest Scrap Award! And Get your Significant other to guest post!

The Not-So-Blog

It's Think Thin Thursday folks and my goal for this week is to keep off whatever weight I lose due to having the wretched FLU! :) So far I'm down 2 pounds as of this morning...yay for feeling like I swallowed gravel!! :) Head on over to The Not So Blog-Blog and have a look around, even if you don't have a weightloss goal, her blog is alot of fun!

So another fun blog to check out is The Scattered Mind of a Tattooed Minivan Mom, she's doing a really fun guest post next week, she's letting her HUBBY post on her blog! Thus she has presented all of us in bloggyland with the challenege of getting our loved one or ones to do a guest post next week too! So, head on over to her blog for all the details! Oh and my hubby will be doing a guest post so stay tuned! This should be interesting!!

I also need to say thanks so much to my wonderful friends Angie and Randy at PsychoHairapy for awarding me this:

Let's start with the rules:
The honorees are to: A) first list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! B) pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.

Ok so here goes: Ten honest things about myself!

No particular order....

1. I have no will power when it comes to coffee and chocolate, I have tried to quit, but it's just not happening.

2. I sometimes would like to give my 2 year old away, especially when he's being REALLY naughty! (however I NEVER would cause I love him!)

3. My dog Pudge is more of a pain in my tush than any dog I have ever had and I sometimes want to give her away too!

4. I'm really unorganized, it's something I need help with, Closet Organizers seriously need to see me!

5. I am on 3 different kinds of medication to help keep me sane, so far I don't think they work..hahaha

6. I sometimes lack tact :)

7. I am petrified of failure, yet I know how to pick myself up and dust myself off. If at first you don't succeed try try again!

8. I love my friends as if they were the siblings I've almost always wanted :)

9. My parents damaged me and still to this day I have a hard time letting go of the anger towards them.

10. I am afraid of what people will think after they read this (however, I won't let it keep me up at night) and if you don't like my honesty than that's too bad for you..neener neener neener :)

Now for the people that I am doling out this award too.....drum roll please......


Thanks for reading and have a great evening! I'm off to die a slow and miserable flu death...(did I mention I am melodramatic..that could be number 11 on my list....)

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Pics from the BFF trip

Me on left, Marylin on right
Nate's Blanket

Mark's Blanket

My awesome Apron!
All these were handmade by my very crafty BFF, go check out her crafty blog, she's doing a giveaway!!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

"Inspirational Tuesday"

**Along with my inspirational tuesday pick I also go off on a tangent..hehe..**

I am choosing Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert as my topic for "Inspirational Tuesday" because this book inspired this tattoo. This is my left foot, I used the analogy when getting this tattoo that I wanted it on my left side so that when I walked I did so with love....

A little cheesy I know, but it was my way of reminding myself to always keep LOVE in front of me as my goal, to be better at it.

There are so many great points in this book, I took away from her story an understanding about the power of prayer and listening to your inner voice. She is a wonderful story teller and does an awesome job of drawing you in and keeping you intrigued while she goes on her spiritual journey. She made me want to travel to all the places she went and experience them for myself :)

I have struggled with Faith for a while, I am such a control freak that I have the hardest time just letting go and giving it to The Man upstairs, even though my heart knows I would be better for it it's my head that gets in my way. I am getting better I believe at chipping away some of my fears, I know that I am the right path these days or at least veering towards the right path.

I am embarking on a new journey, I am going to start school on January 12, I am going for a psychology degree. I chose this path because people fascinate me, I also want to be able to help those that need it. I'm a little nervous, it's been 11 years since I have been in school! I have my first assignment already, I have to write a 300 word autobiographical essay! How do I sum up 30 years of a crazy life in 300 words... Well wish me luck, this will be interesting!

** I finished my autobiographical essay and its a little more than 300 words, it's about 510 :), but the point is I got it done!! **