Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I'm frustrated because in this learning environment it's all about communication and when there's a breakdown or failure to communicate properly it makes it hard for me to stay motivated. I know my attitude is really blah right this minute so maybe it's just a bad day.....
Friday, March 20, 2009
Besides, if I live in fear than she wins right?! I will still have my comment moderator on, but I don't want to keep everyone out.
Thank you to my bloggyland friends for sending me virtual hugs and for being so supportive, it means alot to me.
Hope everyone has a great weekend :)
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Stalking is a controversial pejorative term applied to the behaviour of individuals (and perhaps to bodies of persons) towards others. It relates to a pattern of repeated, unwanted attention, harassment, and contact. In many countries, stalking is classified as a criminal offence.
So we all know that out here in bloggyland it's easy to view everyone's stuff, it's like the domino effect, one follows one and another and another and so on. Well, I have gone to as many lengths as I possibly can to prevent this person from viewing my stuff and SHE still will not stop, so she is now classified as a stalker. Yes that's right, A SHE! and fyi some of my bloggy friends, she's now following you, JananaBee and My Little World, if you want to know who she is please email me and I will tell who so you can block her if you want.
Here's the deal, I met this girl in one of my online courses, she added me as a friend on Facebook and we chatted about school. Then one day our convo turned to our life experiences and things of that nature and I thought she was a pretty cool girl. She lives in another state, doesn't have a lot of friends, blah blah, we exchanged phone numbers, started texting and talking on the phone. I thought I had found a friend to connect with and then something happened. She became obsessive, if I didn't call her back or text her back right away she would send like 15 texts or call my phone 4-5 times, so I finally asked her to please stop doing that, she said she would. She didn't. So last week I finally told her to leave me alone, I didn't want to talk to her anymore. Again she apologized and said she wouldn't contact me. AND YET AGAIN she continued to call, text, email, follow and comment on my blogs, tried to talk to me on facebook, any time I gave any kind of attention to her it just made her do it more, so last night I had enough and deleted her and blocked her. Well, as you can see my blog is public and if you look at my FEEDJIT tracker she can still access me, by the way she's from MONMOUTH MAINE. So, in an effort to thwart her I am posting this blog to tell her if she doesn't stop I will take legal action and I will report her and I will tell the school about her behavior.
I have been stalked before, about 8 years ago when I lived in Las Vegas. This man, who still to this day haunts my brain, and now especially, made my life hell. He found out where I worked, he found out where my bf at the time worked, pretended to be a florist to find out my address and sent me flowers to my HOME, he showed up at my work one day after I switched jobs and I had him fired and you know what stinks, the cops in vegas wouldn't do anything about it.
I have enough anxiety issues and don't need the constant worry anymore if this chic is going to be following me around in cyberspace for the rest of my life. It stinks, she's in one of my classes this semester and I hate it! In all reality I'm also frightened. But I'm more pissed than anything. You would think that if you ask someone to leave you alone, they should comply. Most of all though I feel like an idiot for even thinking that I could be her friend. There were so many red flags, I just didn't listen to myself and then when I did follow my gut, it's now turned ugly.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Now for my favorites that got me through the week....
(No particular order)
1. The SITS Spring Fling- That was seriously a ton of fun to do and I made some new bloggy land friends in the process which is really what SITS and BITS is all about. I tried to win some contests, but to no avail..lol..the only person I ever win from is Kalei!
2. Arizona weather- It really has been quite nice and yesterday's trip to the park with Nate was much needed. For more about that see the post below :).
3. Grey's Anatomy- for providing me drama outside the real world, oh and The Real World- Brooklyn, yes, I admit it, I watch it so what! It's so fun to watch the 20-somethings living in this giant warehouse with funky furniture and making money for being pretty and "real". There's a Mormon guy on their this season who is out to prove to the world that being LDS is fun! He's good at it! :)
4. Coffee- This will always be on my list of favorites because I can't function without it.
5. All the people that stop by and leave me comments, comments are my favorite thing because it means people really like me..right? Hehehe...
6. Also my boy and his new skill..see video :)
I'm sure I will come up with a better list next Friday. Right now I am in a fog and need to eat dinner! Have a great weekend everyone!! :)
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
True Random Number Service
There were 45 items in your list. Here they are in random order:
living on the spit
news around the blogs
Timestamp: 2009-03-11 16:37:39 UTC
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
**Contest ends tonight at 11:59 pm AZ (CST) time**
Hey Ya'll Head on over to SITS and participate in the Spring Fling! There are sooooooo many contests and prizes your eyes will go buggy!!
Now for my Give-A-Way.....
Ok so I am a little late getting this post up, but for my give-a-way today leave me a comment and you'll be entered to win a dozen HOME-MADE chocolate chip cookies (or any cookie of your choosing), I am a fabulous baker so don't worry..they'll be good!! Also I am giving away 2 purses that have been just sitting around in my closet and should go to a good home! **Pics are posted** The larger black purse is made by Kenneth Cole -Reaction** I'll post Pics in a bit, just wanted to get this out here for all the SITS participants!! Happy Spring Fling Hopping!!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Hope everyone has a happy Monday!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
***Some random pics***
I just love this pic...
Thursday, February 26, 2009
All I can do is pray and thank the man upstairs that we're alright. My thoughts and prayers are with those that are not so fortunate....it has to get better, it just has to!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
If you just can't wait til March 21, 2009, like I couldn't, feel free to watch the movie right here! Great quality I wouldn't post garbage, I mean c'mon, this is Edward we're talking about!! I mean Twilight..hehehe...Enjoy :)
***By the way, click on the menu bar for Full Screen, otherwise you'll miss half the movie since it won't all fit onto my blog..LOL..***
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
DRUM ROLL PLEASE (and Dj Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince just rolled through my head...)...
First Place is...............The Young Momma @ Perfect Pen!
Second Place is...........Sandy @ The Adams Family!
Third Place is..............The Tattooed Minivan Mom @ Scattered Mind of a Tattooed Minivan Mom!
If you're wondering to yourself why there are more than one well it's because I said so, it's my contest I can do what I want and if I think everyone, I mean 3, should win then that's t hat! Ok, how did I get these 3 lovely ladies, well I went to Random.Org and I typed in the list of entries and hit randomize, and these 3 were the top!
Thanks to everyone for entering and for showing me some love for my first 100 posts! I kinda like this whole giving thing, maybe I'll start doing just random give-a-ways for no reason...hmm stay tuned for more on that! :) Oh yea did you know you can watch Twilight on your PC for free?? I learned this tid bit of info last night and am now addicted to tvshack.net!
For all of you who entered please email me your address so I can snail mail you something just for stopping by and for the winners please tell me your favorite Bath and Bodyworks Scents and Young Momma I need to know your favorite Yankee Candle Scent and where you'd like your $25 GIftCard from! Thanks again everyone! Now go stop by all the other blogs on my blogroll, there are some super dooper give-a-ways going on, apparently a bunch of milestones are happening this week/weekend!!
Email info to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Friday, February 20, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
They share I swear!
Don't forget to enter the give-a-way! :) :) :) :)
***I just found this post through SITS and it made me laugh so hard that I had to share it with you! Check it out if you need a laugh too..http://thecreativejunkie.com/2008/05/23/twenty-things-every-mom-needs-to-know/.***
Monday, February 16, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Now for my 100th Post give-a-way......here are the rules, leave me a comment get an entry, link back to me in a post earn 3 entries, oh and for every comment you leave you get an entry...hehehe...so comment away! Maybe I should do a limit to make it fair?...ok, no more than 5 comments. Now.....what do you win if you get chosen? LOTS OF LOVE..hehehe..no seriously you'll win a $25 gift card and there will be other little things too, some of my favorite stuff, like Yankee Candles and Bath and Body Works stuff :).**Contest will end Friday at Midnight** So, thanks again for reading me and following. Sometimes the comments you guys leave really pull me through my day! To show some love on this Valentine's Day I would like to take a moment and list some of my most loyal readers and commenters and hope that whoever decides to stop by will take a moment to stop by these wonderful blogs too! So without further ado.......***These are in no particular order***
1. Janana Bee!
2. The tattooed Minivan Momma!
3. The Ramlber!
4. Bloggedy Blog, Blog!
5. The Adams Family!
6. Hippy Chic!
7. My Thoughts!
8. PsychoHairapy! and Running With Scissors!
9. The Perfect Pen!
10.Christina's Creative Expressions!
11. Decisionally Challenged!
12. Clever Girl Goes Blog!
14. Keeper of the skies wife!
Ok, I could keep going, but my little man is crying so I need to go do mom duty! Hope everyone has a LOVE filled day!!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
They're great friends!
Tank likes Pudge's set up much better than his
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Ours is the one in the middle
He's the biggest in the litter and as of right now is 12-13 pounds and almost 8 weeks old, he's an English Mastiff and will be Pudge's Boyfriend..lol...ok maybe not, but ya never know!
So anywho, we haven't come up with a name for him yet, we've been tossing around names like Dozer (as in Bull dozer..lol..), Bruiser, Bruno etc... All suggestions are welcome! I'll be picking him up on Saturday so we have a few days before a name has to be chosen :)
Friday, January 30, 2009
I'm so grateful to my 17 readers, I write for you guys and my family and it's such a warm and fuzzy feeling when you leave me comments, makes me feel like I'm good at something! In honor of my 1st Year I leave you with a list of my favorite posts..is that conceited of me..lol...Hope you enjoy and my 100th post is only 5 posts away so stay tuned for a give-a-way!!
These are in no particular order...:
1. My very first post
2. The Many hats of Nate
3. ABC Tag
4. A poem for my mom
5. New York Yankees
Ok, that's all for now for my favorites. Nate is running amuck and wants to go outside, so before I lose my mind even more...time to play!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I had the most amazing experience on Monday, I was sitting at the computer doing homework (because that's what my life consists of these days) and I had Sesame Street on for Nate, well I was so engrossed in the screen that I had tuned everything out, when all of a sudden I feel his little hand touch my arm so gently and he peaks around at me with this very shy smile and says.."I love you!" and then giggles and hugs me! Now for mom's all around the world when your little one can finally grasp what it means to love and actually express it verbally, it's hands down one of the best days of my life. So, naturally after that I scopped him up and started giving him kisses and saying I love YOU I LOVE YOU over and over, so much so, that he will now shout it whenever he feels like saying it to me. It felt like all of my life has been summed up in his three little words to me, he and my daughter are the reason I'm here.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The red dragon is the one that is 11 years old :)
The big purple dragon is covering my dolphin :)
My back has now undergone a complete transformation! My dolphin is gone, covered by another dragon and I now have a whole fantasy land that starts at the top and goes all the way down to the top of my tail bone. Most of the inspiration for what you see is based on Amy Brown, she's a well known artist that draws and paints faeries and dragons and other awesome creatures. My tattoo artist that designed the whole piece with me is Terry Oakes, she used to work at State of The Art Tattoo here in Tucson, but is now on her own. She and I have become pretty close through this whole process and I hope that she and I will remain close now that it's complete. The total time in hours that I sat for this piece was 80-90 over the course of a year. I have a total of 7 tattoos, I count my back piece as one because it's all connected, if I was to count each piece seperately it would add up to about 22 tattoos total...lol..
Here is my ink that I am so proud of...
**sorry about the flash..it's hard to take pics of my back without help..lol**
Monday, January 19, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Thanks for your sweet words Mark. Love you.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
This is me. yes it is a big machine I am not 2 feet tall standing next to a car tire. I have worked hard to get to where I am at in life, with a few if not many off course ventures.
I was born and raised by some of the best parents on the planet. Mark and Brenda. They taught me right from wrong and at times turned there heads at some of my wrongs. They believed in all I did and participated in all they could for me. I can't remember a time that they missed a ball game I played in ...no matter the miles it took to see it
I grew up in Grand Rapids MI. went to college in Big Rapids MI and this is where the fun started. Alcohol was introduced to me.....yes we became good friends.
I have held various jobs from large corporations to "mom n pop" companies. I was mostly in management positions.
I left Michigan in 2001, headed to Las Vegas, NV , then to Portland OR, Salem OR, Lakeland FL, Tampa FL, then decided enough is enough and left the corporate life and moved back to Las Vegas NV.
During all these moves and transitions I was in a self destruct mode, back in 2001 I lost a family member very close to me, He was like a brother. I felt bad because months prior to his death I left Michigan, after I left He informed me that he felt a little hurt since I left in a hurry and did not stop by to say goodbye, ans sadly I never got to see him to say goodbye. and do to this feeling I had from this error on my part I became better friends with alcohol did not care how much I drank, when I drank and rode my motorcycle everywhere i could sober or not .
I did not find much or trust much of anyone, until I returned to Las Vegas, and Worked as head of security at a good friends bar. this was a family away from my family. Yes I know people become friends with other co-workers and co-workers are like "family". which I call BS to. I have been in the co-worker "family" and it is nothing compared to this close fellowship of friends from Tommy Rocker and all the employees/co-workers. From the owner Tommy to bartenders, wait staff, cooks, management, and even custodial employees There was always the sense of someone was there truly looking out for you and your best interest. This may be hard for some to grasp but you would had to have worked in this environment to understand truly. it wasn't boyfriend girlfriend, guy girl, boss employee atmosphere it was brother, sister, long term friends.
If not for this family I would have not met my wife Mesa. We met at the bar,many of the bar employees were going to a midnight hockey game and Mesa lived with one of the employees and was invited to come along to the game., From there we were together since (luckily after that first kiss), I still was on my self destruct pattern and drinking alot having to call Mesa all hours of the night to drive me home and she put up with alot of my SH@! and for that I am thankful and am truly grateful for her to see through the stupid in me.
I recall one of the first times we hung out, we went to Walmart.......yes I know you all think that is sooooo romantic. but anyways we were at the store and I bought her a stuffed animal of Scooby Doo wearing pajamas, this way if I was not sleeping next to her I could trust Scooby to look out after her, I also bought her a bag of Lifesavers candys, so that way she would think of me when she had one. but the more I think about the bag of candy I think of it more that just a bag of candy , I really think I was handing her a request and lucky me she accepted the request.
After a couple of years we were married and a year later as most of you know came Nathen. He has just turned 2 and I am so proud to be his father, and crazy to admit it i find myself doing some of them annoying things my parents did and said when I was little.
It has been 2-3 years since I had a drink or even a drop of alcohol. Which i will go back to the bag of candy and the request. Mesa thank you for being a lifesaver. with out your commitment who knows where I would be or if I would still even be.
And for that Mesa you truly are my Lifesaver.
** Message from Mesa: Thank you The Scattered Mind of a Tattooed Minivan Mom for hosting the Guest Spot Blog party today! This has been a blast and I hope we get to do it again! :)** For more Blogs with guests please head over to hers!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
I was reading the Sunday paper today and I always browse through Parade, in doing so today I came across a really wonderful article that I would like to share with you. It's by The Dog Whisperer Cesar Millan.
What Your Pet Can Teach You
Live in the moment.
Nurture a balanced life.
Trust your instincts.
Be direct and consistent in your communication.
Learn to listen.
Don’t hold grudges.
Live with purpose.
Celebrate every day.
When I finished reading this I thought about Nathen and how easily all of these lessons can be applied to what our children teach us too, not just pets. When I am having a tough moment my son can usually tell and will walk up to me, touch my face, look at me with his big brown eyes and say "whats wrong?" and then he'll get this giant smile and giggle for absolutely no reason other than to make me smile in return, which I do-even if I don't want to. I can't seem to stay in a bad mood with him in my life and Thank GOD for that. So, I hope that I helped at least one of you dear friends see the importance of all these lessons and that we can all try to learn them in the best way possible, by doing them :). Have a Happy Sunday!!
Friday, January 9, 2009
"If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?"- This question was posted over at My Rambling Thoughts by The Rambler for her Think About It Thursdays post and it struck a cord with me.
For a few years now my own mortality has been on my mind, its inevitable because the older we get the more people we know and love seem to depart, so I often ask myself this very question. If I were to go would my children know just how much I really love them, have I done enough to show how much I appreciate all the hardwork Mark does on a daily basis and how grateful I am to him for allowing me the opportunity to stay home with our son? I am not so good at being as grateful as I should be and I know that as of lately I seem to be building a wall to keep out the bad, but in keeping out the bad I'm also keeping out the good.
Sometimes my survival instinct takes control and I shut myself off, but I mean seriously after all the stuff that has gone on, sometimes its just easier to try to be numb. I still feel the emotions I just try not to let them out, which is bad bad bad. So in an effort to cleanse my soul and open up again let me get heavy for a moment.
Here goes...I was raised by my grandmother, she was a hard woman, not affectionate unless you were an infant, rarely ever gave praise and she and I fought about everything until the day I moved out. She did what she could to provide a stable home for me and I regret the way I treated her. She passed very quickly in April of 2007, and I didn't get to say goodbye while she was still concious, if I could have I would have told her that she was more of a mom to me than my own and I love her with all of my heart and I am so honored to have been her granddaughter, she taught me more than I ever thought was possible and without her I would not be who I am.
My father was not around growing up, he was a drug addict and alcoholic and the most abusive man I have ever known, I watched him do some horrific things to my mom and even though I witnessed these things from the ages of 1 to 5 I still have a very clear memory of it all. He killed himself when I was 17, his kidneys were failing along with his liver and he decided on Christmas eve to pop as many pain killers as possible and drink one last beer, that was it. If I could have talked to him I would have told him that even though he made mistakes and even though he caused me and many others pain, he was still my father and I will always love him and wish that I could have known him and that underneath everything he was trying to escape he still had a good heart.
My mom, well, more like a sister or best friend, she and I had a unique relationship. I was the mom and she was the daughter for almost my whole life. She and I had somewhat of a falling out around March/April in 2008, you see she had an unreal amount of guilt when my grandma died, she was tormented by all that she had done to my grandma. In March of last year my mom went missing for 2 weeks, I thought she was dead, I almost wished that she was at the time because it was better than what she had really been doing. My mother was also a drug addict. She decided to go and live with someone crazy woman and her family, quit her job and just disappear to get high. I was beyond crushed when she finally called me acting like nothing was wrong. I told her I wanted nothing to do with her, that she would never see me or her grandkids ever again, that she was done breaking my heart. I refused to speak to her for months every time she called I let my phone go to voicemail, some messages she left were as if nothing at all were wrong (she was high), other messages she would plead with me to please call. Finally my step father called and said she was in really bad shape, so I finally talked to her. A week later she ended up in the hospital. She never would tell me exactly what was wrong with her, she was very vague so I just assumed it was drug withdrawls and in the end I was right. My mother committed suicide on August 29th, 2008, so-called accidental overdose, there was a note though, her last thoughts and a good-bye saying she would be able to take care of me better from heaven. I saw her 2 weeks to the day before she died at my cousins wedding. She was in bad shape and I had a feeling that the end was near, but I let my anger get the best of me and I shut her out and didn't stay but maybe 15 minutes with her. I think she knew that I loved her, I just wish I could have been stronger for her. I know that nothing I could say or do would have stopped her, but it doesn't mean I wouldn't have liked the chance to try. I am constantly being told not to beat myself up and I don't I just have big wishes that I know will never come true. So, to my mom I would have said if given the chance- I love you, I know you did the best you could and that you were sick and because of your sickness you weren't as available to me and I'm ok, I'm healing and will continue to heal and most of all I forgive you.
If I died tonight I want all of my family and friends to know I love them and I wish sometimes I could be better at expressing it.
I know my story was heavy, but sometimes I just have to let it out...
Thursday, January 8, 2009
It's Think Thin Thursday folks and my goal for this week is to keep off whatever weight I lose due to having the wretched FLU! :) So far I'm down 2 pounds as of this morning...yay for feeling like I swallowed gravel!! :) Head on over to The Not So Blog-Blog and have a look around, even if you don't have a weightloss goal, her blog is alot of fun!
Let's start with the rules:
The honorees are to: A) first list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! B) pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.
Ok so here goes: Ten honest things about myself!
No particular order....
1. I have no will power when it comes to coffee and chocolate, I have tried to quit, but it's just not happening.
2. I sometimes would like to give my 2 year old away, especially when he's being REALLY naughty! (however I NEVER would cause I love him!)
3. My dog Pudge is more of a pain in my tush than any dog I have ever had and I sometimes want to give her away too!
4. I'm really unorganized, it's something I need help with, Closet Organizers seriously need to see me!
5. I am on 3 different kinds of medication to help keep me sane, so far I don't think they work..hahaha
6. I sometimes lack tact :)
7. I am petrified of failure, yet I know how to pick myself up and dust myself off. If at first you don't succeed try try again!
8. I love my friends as if they were the siblings I've almost always wanted :)
9. My parents damaged me and still to this day I have a hard time letting go of the anger towards them.
10. I am afraid of what people will think after they read this (however, I won't let it keep me up at night) and if you don't like my honesty than that's too bad for you..neener neener neener :)
Now for the people that I am doling out this award too.....drum roll please......
EVERYONE THAT FOLLOWS ME!!!
Thanks for reading and have a great evening! I'm off to die a slow and miserable flu death...(did I mention I am melodramatic..that could be number 11 on my list....)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
A little cheesy I know, but it was my way of reminding myself to always keep LOVE in front of me as my goal, to be better at it.
There are so many great points in this book, I took away from her story an understanding about the power of prayer and listening to your inner voice. She is a wonderful story teller and does an awesome job of drawing you in and keeping you intrigued while she goes on her spiritual journey. She made me want to travel to all the places she went and experience them for myself :)
I have struggled with Faith for a while, I am such a control freak that I have the hardest time just letting go and giving it to The Man upstairs, even though my heart knows I would be better for it it's my head that gets in my way. I am getting better I believe at chipping away some of my fears, I know that I am the right path these days or at least veering towards the right path.
I am embarking on a new journey, I am going to start school on January 12, I am going for a psychology degree. I chose this path because people fascinate me, I also want to be able to help those that need it. I'm a little nervous, it's been 11 years since I have been in school! I have my first assignment already, I have to write a 300 word autobiographical essay! How do I sum up 30 years of a crazy life in 300 words... Well wish me luck, this will be interesting!
** I finished my autobiographical essay and its a little more than 300 words, it's about 510 :), but the point is I got it done!! **